An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then as these numbers began to light in reverse order. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Quick! Go get your Mother."

> Two Amish ladies were digging potatoes in the field. One lady digs up two large potatoes bigger than her fist. She says, "Oh my! These remind me of my husband Jebadiah's balls." The other woman gazed in wonder and said, "You mean his balls are that BIG!" "No!" the woman replied. "They're that dirty!"