Congress intends to pass an airline traveler's Bill of Rights. "One peanut, individually wrapped, with Tomato Juice and Ginger Ale for all ..." (Jim Rosenberg)

Amtrak is scheduling 150 mph trains on the East Coast. "Don't you think Amtrak ought to master 60 mph trains before they move up to 150?" (Mark Wheeler)

If GH stands for P as in Hiccough If OUGH stands for O as in Dough

If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour

If TTE stands for T as in Gazette If EAU stands for O as in Plateau

The right way to spell POTATO shoud be GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," he explained. "It took us awhile to find a new pilot."

Q) How can you recognize an Italian airline? A) The planes have hair under the wings.